Church Hurt is Real, But So is God: Healing from Spiritual Wounds

They say the church is a hospital for the broken, a refuge for the weary, and a place of unconditional love. But what happens when the very place that’s meant to heal you becomes the source of your deepest wounds? What do you do when the hands that should be lifting you in prayer are the same ones stabbing you in the back? 

I, too, have experienced church hurt. I know what it feels like to be overlooked, to be the topic of whispered conversations, to have my trust shattered by those I thought were spiritual mentors. But here’s what I’ve learned: Just because they weren’t good to you doesn’t mean that wasn’t your birthing place. Sometimes, we must grow through the storm to truly understand God’s calling on our lives. 

The Reality of Church Hurt 

Church hurt is real, and for many, it cuts deeper than any other wound. Why? Because the church is supposed to be a sacred place, a family of believers united in Christ’s love. But the hard truth is that not everyone inside the church is truly transformed. Many are saved but not surrendered. They know the Word, but they don’t live it. 

Some churches function more like mean girls’ clubs than places of worship. They suppress your gifts, gossip about you, and measure you against an unrealistic standard. If you don’t fit their mold, they label you as “not anointed enough” or “not qualified.” But let’s be real—Jesus didn’t call the qualified; He qualifies the called. 

When “Prayer” Becomes Gossip 

I once sought prayer, believing I was confiding in spiritual warriors who would stand in the gap for me. Instead, my struggles became community gossip. Chile, that was just the tip of the iceberg! I was devastated. But the Holy Spirit reminded me: He is my true intercessor. People may fail you, but God never will. 

Let’s get one thing straight—church hurt does not equal God hurt. God is not the author of confusion (1 Corinthians 14:33). He does not condone spiritual abuse, manipulation, or toxic leadership. If you’ve been wounded, know this: God sees, God knows, and God will heal. 

Should You Stay or Leave? 

One of the biggest questions after experiencing church hurt is, Should I stay or should I leave? Some argue that when you get offended at work, you don’t just quit, so why leave a church over hurt feelings? On the flip side, a toxic church environment can be detrimental to your spiritual growth.

This is where a relationship with the Holy Spirit is crucial. Only He can reveal how to handle the season or if it’s time to find a new spiritual home. Remember, running isn’t always the answer, however, staying isn’t always wise. Seek God’s direction. Of course, as it pertains to situations of abuse, leaving an unsafe environment is always the right thing to do.

Healing from Church Hurt 

Healing is a process, but here are a few things to consider: 

1. Acknowledge the Hurt – Pretending it didn’t happen won’t heal you. It’s okay to grieve the betrayal, disappointment, and pain. 

Psalm 34:18 – “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” 

2. Separate God from People – People may fail you, but God never will. Your faith should be rooted in God, not the institution. 

1 Corinthians 2:5 – “So that your faith might not rest on the wisdom of men but on the power of God.” 

3. Guard Your Heart – Don’t allow bitterness to take root. Forgiveness is for your freedom, not theirs. 

Proverbs 4:23 – “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” 

4. Find a Safe Space – If your church environment is toxic, seek a community that truly embodies Christ’s love. 

Hebrews 10:25 – “Not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another…” 

5. Pray for Discernment – Not every “church” is truly of God. Some are built on pride, not purpose. 

Matthew 7:15 – “Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves.” 

God is Still Good 

Despite the wounds, God is still good. The enemy will use church hurt to separate you from Christ, but don’t let him win. If you’ve been hurt by the church, I encourage you to lean into God, not away from Him. He sees your pain, and He is faithful to restore you. 

You are still chosen. You are still called. And you still have purpose. 

So, to anyone who has been wounded by the church, I see you. I hear you. But more importantly, God sees and hears you. Don’t give up on Him because of them. 

Let’s heal. Let’s grow. And let’s continue to build God’s kingdom together. Because while church hurt is real, so is God’s love, grace, and redemption. 

What has your experience been with church hurt? Let’s talk about it.

Akeelia Thompson

Contributor

Akeelia Thompson, affectionately known as “Your Favourite Creativepreneur,” is a writer for noblemedianetwork.com. She is a visionary leader, faith-driven strategist and passionate storyteller committed to helping individuals unlock their God-ordained purpose. As the Founder and Creative Director of Souled Into Purpose International (SIP), she guides listeners and community members on the transformative journey of discovering, embracing and living out their unique calling.